American Idol craziness!
by Lina Destin
Summary: It's in the story.


Hey, before you start reading this… I would just like to say, this is a cute play I made up where my friends and I replace the characters in American Idol and boy is this a crazy story!!! So, if you're in the mood to laugh. Perfect one shot right here!!!

(P.S: I'm Lisa. Lina Destin is just my pen name. Not my name in real life)

American Idol: Our Version

Characters: Lisa- Ryan Seacrest, Josh, Lina, Murray and Arthur- random people auditioning, Paulina- Simon, Damian- Randy, Maggie- Paula.

*Theme song*

Lisa: And welcome America to the fresh new season of AMERICAN IDOL!!!! I'm your host Ryan Seacrest and this is my buddy over here who is lucky enough to be our very first audition for this season!!! Say, hi Arthur!!! *puts arm around dorky teenage boy*

Arthur: HI MOMMY!!!!

Lisa: *laughs* Um… good, but don't you want to tell us a little more about yourself?

Arthur: I LOVE YOU MOMMY!!!! *waves hysterically at the camera*

Lisa: *laughs sarcastically and makes a ditzy signal to the camera as she pushes the excited boy into the auditioning room*

Arthur: Um… hi everybody! My name is Arthur and I'm going to um… sing

Paulina (sarcastically): Oh, great! Our first audition of the season is by a nerd! Wonderful!!!!

Arthur: *gulps and then starts singing Bye Bye Bye from the Backstreet Boys in an extremely off pitch and off tune manner*

Paulina: *covers ears and grits teeth* ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! THAT'S ENOUGH!!! Damian, give this loser a review before I slam my face into the desk!!!!

Damian(talking into a cell phone): Dude, that was awesome!!! You seriously got the jacket 50% off?!!!

Maggie: *rolls eyes at Damian and then turns to beam at nervous Arthur* That was very good! You tried and you put your best foot forward and that's all that matters right?!

Paulina: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA… WHAAAAAT?!!!! THE BOY IS A LIVING NIGHTMARE!!!! Your singing was horrible, your personality is unattractive and your wardrobe is atrocious! Are you hearing me?!!! Y-O-U A-R-E A L-O-S-E-R!!!!

Arthur(watching wide eyed): *sniffles and nods as eyes get soaked with approaching tears*

Maggie: *slams fist into Paulina's gut*

Paulina: Oh, come on! Don't be such a baby!!! I'm telling you the truth. You've gotta be able to handle things like this, not cry in front of national television!!!!

Lisa: So, how do you think you did?

Arthur: *pushes her out of the way as he zooms past her, rubbing his eyes with his forearms* DON'T TALK TO ME!!!!

Lisa: *stares wide eyed* Okay… um… commercial break?

Lisa: And we're back!!! I'm everyone's favorite host, Lisa…

Josh: And I'm looking so hot in this jacket!!!

Lisa: *glares at Josh* Um… okay. How 'bout telling us your name?

Josh: *blushes* Oh, um… I'm Joshua Carterson! And I'm here to melt your hearts, America!!!!

Lisa(ecstatic smiling): Awesome!!!! Let's see if you can blow away the judges! *excitedly pushes him into the audition room*

Josh: *confidently bows after accidentally slipping on the puddle of tears on the floor* Good morning, I'm Josh and I'm going to sing…

Damian: *temporarily covers the flip phone with his hand* Man, where did you get those clothes? They're hip!!! That's the most stylish outfit I've seen since…

Paulina: JUST FREAKING SING ALREADY!!!!

Josh: *sings You Can Have Whatever You Like in a deep rapper's tone*

Damian: Oh, that's horrible!!! I can't believe they're canceling my favorite flavor smoothie!!!!

Maggie(trying to forget about Arthur): *softly smiles* That was amazing, Josh. Keep up the good work and you'll have a successful career in music in no time!

Paulina: You've got a good voice… but… you're personality is way too conceited. You're never going to make it in American Idol if fashion overpowers your taste in music!

Maggie: *glares at her*

Josh: *smiles with a brilliant idea in his head and then nods to the judges before exiting*

Lisa(begging in her mind that they accepted the heartthrob): Well…

Josh: I'm gonna become a fashion designer!!!!

Lisa: *jaw drops* _What?_

Lisa: *sighs* Okay, the quest is on! Now, here we have a firecracker of a girl named

Lina, right?

Lina(has extreme make up and a stripper outfit on): *nods*

Lisa: *rolls eyes* Right… um… good luck. You're going to need it.

Lina: Yo. I'm going to sing buttons by the Pussy Cat Dolls. Geez, it's a little hot in here, don't cha think? *takes off skimpy half jacket, revealing tight shirt underneath*

Damian: *gapes as the cell phone drops right out of his hand*

Lina: … saying what you gon' do to me, but I ain't seen nothing… *sings the melody as she approaches the judges' desk and crawls onto it in front of gaping Damian*

Paulina and Maggie(simultaneously): SECURITY!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa(on coffee break): No one's gotten into Holly Wood so far. I wonder what the singing problem is in New Orleans!

Camera man(sipping coffee also): Oh, it's not the talent. It's the judges. Damian and Maggie are saying yes to a lot of contestants but Paulina has insulted every single one so far and refuses to accept anyone!!!

Lisa: *coffee sprays out of her mouth*

Lisa: *bursts into the audition room and angrily storms towards the judges* May I have a word with you?!!!!

Paulina: *sighs and rolls her eyes as Lisa stops in front of her at the desk*

Lisa: YOU NEED AN ATTITUDE CHECK, YOU *BEEP*. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW *BEEP* UP YOU ARE!!!… *hesitates* Do you hear something?

In the background: *Beep* *Beep* *BEEEEEP*

Maggie: There are automatic toilets in the restroom adjacent to this room.

Lisa: *nods* I see. Anyway… *starts to point a finger at Paulina again but gets interrupted*

Camera Man: We're live right now

Lisa(extremely nervous): *blushes wildly* Uh… and that's it for our dramatic portion of the show!!! *puts arm around Paulina*

Paulina: But, weren't you in the middle of telling me off?

Lisa: *eyes narrow into thin slits of utter aggravation* YOU KNOW WHAT?!!! ROLL THE FREAKING CAMERA!!!! I DON'T CARE!!!! *grabs Paulina by the collar but then gets taken out the room by security*

Murray(a man dressed in a ridiculous sparkly cocktail dress): *walks up to Lisa, sulking by the wall* Um, excuse me. Aren't you the host of American Idol?

Lisa: NOT ANYMORE!!!! *storms off*

Murray(now angry): $*&^%!!!!! *Beep* YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!

The end!!!! Now, wasn't that a crazy day if there ever was one?!!!!

PLEASE REVIEW!!! Thank you from Lina Destin!!!!


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